Restraint

Personal reflections while “Winning the AM.”

A few days back a couple friends and I took on the challenge of memorizing more scripture. Not only is this good for my brain health, but it is essential to my spiritual health. Memorizing seems to be getting a little more difficult as the years go by.

These guys and I coach together and we meet up via the YouVersion App every morning for a devotional. Our goal is to help each other grow spiritually and as a result we are growing closer together. 

This morning during my “Win the Morning” routine I set about memorizing our first verse, Proverbs 17:27”

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding.”

Right away I recognized the difficulty in really applying this. You see, more often than not, I do not restrain my words. I kind of let them fly. I cannot count how many times I spoke too soon, and then dealt with regret for having opened my mouth and said what I did.

Why is restraint so hard? I did a quick Google search of the definition of the word. I like to do that. Definitions always seem to add clarity and conviction. Here is what Google defines restrain as:

a measure or condition that keeps someone or something under control or within limits

Within limits…hmm…so simply stated yet so difficult to adhere to.

The powerful aspect of this verse is that if we can develop the discipline of restraint we can grow in knowledge. This I generally learn the hard way. For me it goes like this:

Talk to soon…

Feel guilty…

Apologize…

Find out that what the other person was saying, or suggesting, or trying to do was actually something positive and good…

More guilt…

Then I swear to never open my mouth again…

Repeat…

The rest of the verse pounds home the point even more. Restrain your words, grow in knowledge then develop a “cool spirit” and the skill of understanding. 

Seems applicable to everything.

This verse reminded me of one of my most favorite Stephen Covey quotes:

Seek first to understand then to be understood.

I wonder if Covey read this verse before he dropped that wisdom. The verse and his quote run parallel together.

Seeking first to understand takes tremendous restraint and a ton of courage. I threw courage in there because as I typing the above sentence Google suggested I use the word courage to complete my thought. But how true it is. It takes courage to restrain our words. It takes courage to “seek first to understand.” It takes courage to take a step back, put others first, and learn.

My personal challenge for the day…exercise restraint, learn, and take a step closer to developing a cool spirit.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you.